Second year Day 81 - Monday March 4, 2013

I stayed up SO late last night!  Mark and I had a long talk about the trip.  He thinks that I should cancel the trip, since we will be missing most of the appointments anyway.  We already missed Thursday, Friday and Saturday, and now today for sure, and possibly tomorrow.  He didn't tell me I couldn't go but I can tell he doesn't want me to go.  We talked for a long time and then I cried for a good spell.  The strain of things does sometimes get to me and I just couldn't help it.  At length, I decided to call and cancel with Faith and get the name of her friend in Helena (turns out she is in Great Falls).  Also, I spoke to someone who is in Whitefish who is getting training to do what Faith does, but has at least four years of training left.  She gave me the name of someone in a French commune in British Columbia.  We all have passports, so that's do-able but may not be practical.  I made lots of phone calls and we'll see what happens.  I worried about Bridgett all night.  Whenever I have to resort to Lortab, she gets dizzy.  It's worse with other pain relievers; it's just best when we don't have to use anything besides Advil.  Anyway, I had nightmares that she got up to go to the bathroom (which she does every night, usually twice) and was so dizzy that she fell and hit her head.  This did not help with me getting a good sleep!  However, maybe because she was exhausted from the pain, or maybe because she was finally out of pain--whatever--she slept until 6:30 and then called for help.  I helped her walk to the bathroom and then she was dizzy all of the rest of the day until just before bed, just from that one Lortab!  I made an appointment with Michelle Helwig at Bigfork Family Practice for Wednesday, so we will discuss that, among other things.  I am having her take a look at a lump on Bridgett's back.  I mentioned it before I think--pea sized and the lump hasn't gone away in like six weeks. Stephany woke up feeling miserable and came upstairs with tears running down her cheeks.  I am really glad that we did not leave today!  Later on she was feeling much better.  Mornings are also hard for her since she got that CMV, so I guess that is still going to be a pattern for a while.