Third year Day 93 - Sunday March 16, 2014

Bridgett woke up in terrible kidney pain today.  Darn!  She was finally feeling better after the removal of the (we still call it a) cystoma, and now this!  Right away we had to jump to Lortab as the pain was quite severe.    Actually, I wondered if Bridgett had a kidney infection, so I sent Tyler to Walgreens to get a home test kit for UTI.  It turned out that one part of the test was positive and one part negative, so the test kit instructions said to do it again and if it stayed that way to contact a doctor.  I think we will just run into Michelle Helwigs tomorrow and check it out.  Arrianne elected to stay home and help with Bridgett, so we were all together until Mark took her to the airport  It was good to have an extra hand to try to distract Bridgett from the pain that she's in.  When Bridgett's pain is this severe, it is hard to really get anything else done.  We walk, go up and down stairs, use the tuning forks, lay on the heating pad, anything to try to control the pain.  I think she may have another kidney stone.  She has passed 4-5 already in her life, starting at the age of about 14.  They are SO painful!  Arrianne made it back safely and Scott picked her up and took her home.  He has to go past his house to Provo and then back again, but he's a good brother to help her out!!  They had a really nice visit in the car as it's about an hour drive from the airport to Provo. 

Third year Day 92 - Saturday March 15, 2014

None of us can believe how fast this week has gone, and Arrianne has to fly back tomorrow afternoon.  She's been able to get some much needed rest and sing every night.  It's been a hard semester for her voice.  Off and on for the past couple of years, she's had problems with sinus and throat infections.  Finally this semester it was decided that the infection that she had after Christmas was not a virus (1st week), or a bacterial infection (two courses of antibiotics later) but a fungal infection.  She's had three courses of antibiotics for fungal infections, plus all of the natural remedies suggested, and still the infection is harbored in her sinuses.  Hopefully this summer we can get completely rid of it!  She has had quite a few weeks this semester when she couldn't sing at all and frankly I have been really worried about her!  Arrianne has spent a lot of time with Bridgett, doing their nails, playing Nintendo and cards, etc and I have been able to finish up getting our taxes ready for the accountant (personal and all corporations).  Whew!  Since I've been so tired out, it has taken me much longer than usual, but at least its finally done!

Third year Day 91 - Friday March 14, 2014

The best thing about having the stitches out...no more bandage on the incision!!  That bandage was really bugging Bridgett, even though we changed it twice a day.  It was itching and actually causing the skin to be irritated, red and bumpy where the adhesive was.  And these were bandages for sensitive skin!  I forgot to tell you that after the stitches were removed, Bridgett and I went to Walmart to buy some yarn for an afghan.  I let her completely pick out the color, although I was holding my breath that she didn't pick out ugly colors:)  She finally picked out some variegated yarn.  Now, usually I kind of don't like any variegated yarn, but this one is really cute!  The color is called bikini(?) but its actually a bunch of bright colors together: yellow, orange, pink, blue,  and green and reminds me of play dough!  It will be fun for her to make and really cute I think.  We kind of put it away until her back is feeling better; it's still sensitive although much better than it's been!

Third year Day 90 - Thursday March 13, 2014

Today was the big day of getting the stitches removed.  Also, we got a call that the final biopsy was in and they would discuss it with us at the appointment (what does that mean??).  The nurse who removed the stitches, said that the wound looks great; we all thought so!!  Then the doctor told us that the biopsy showed that it was a bunch of scar tissue in her back!  Weird, right!  They are at a loss as to why it is there.  Arrianne later said, perhaps there was some glass or something from the wreck??  Who knows!!  Anyway, they also said that the biopsy showed that the tissue extends to one margin of the removal tissue, so that perhaps not all of it was removed; and they removed quite a bit.  The doctor said that she saw that as she was removing and scraped a little more and hoped she got it all.  But, the thing is, if there's any tissue left, they said it might regrow and have to be removed again later.  Bummer!  Anyway, the final biopsy report calls it.....a benign dermatofibroma.  We googled this term and looked at pictures, and none of them are remotely what hers looked like.  Her skin was smooth with a bump underneath, while these show a raised bump on top of the skin.  Huh!  Anyway, the definition we found......A dermatofibroma is an very common skin growth. It is a small, firm bump on the skin. The dermis layer of skin contains nerve endings, glands, and vessels. The bump is an overgrowth of the tissue in the dermis layer. The bump is generally pinkish-brown in color. It is often found on the legs. Sometimes more than one appears. Generally, they are harmless and are not connected to skin cancer.  The cause is unknown. Dermatofibromas sometimes appear after a minor injury to the skin. This can include an insect bite or a prick of a thorn.  Dermatofibromas are:

• Usually reddish-brown in color
  • Are darker in individuals with darker skin
  • May change color over time
• Found most often on the legs, but may also appear on the arms or torso of the body
• Small in size (3-10 millimeters)
• Very firm to touch
• Sometimes itchy or sensitive when touched
• Raised from the skin and may bleed if damaged (eg, a dermatofibroma can bleed if you shave over it

Anyway, I don't think that was particularly helpful, since it doesn't seem to fit.  Another time when you get more information and it just raises more questions!!

Third year Day 89 - Wednesday March 12, 2014

The girls are all having a great time together.  Today we went into town to Victoria's house.  She owns Creative Vision Photography, and has done many of our wonderful photos.  She did Arrianne and Stephany's senior pictures, as well as a group of Irish Dance pictures with the two of them.  Today we were trying to pick out a picture for a poster for Arri's junior recital.  Also, Stephany was trying to pick out another one of her pictures to get printed.  It's fun watching the girls as they make decisions!  Of course, all of the pictures are really good, it's a matter of picking which ones they like.  Arrianne finally picked a picture, and then she and Victoria sat and designed a poster for her.  It's nice that they could get this done; it's something that has to be done soon anyway, and Victoria has all of the platelets, etc to make it really nice; one more thing to get crossed off her list!! I think I mentioned before that Arrianne found a really pretty recital dress at Dillards in Provo, but it was strapless.  We found someone who regularly does alterations like this, but we needed to find fabric that would work, so sleeves could be added.  Arrianne was unable to find any in Provo/Orem, however, Stephany and I found some here at Joanns Fabric that we thought would work.  We mailed it down, and it matches almost exactly; you could never tell that it wasn't the same!!  The alterations were made, and Arrianne had hoped to get a photo with her in the dress, but it didn't fit quite right, so she was not able to get the photo this trip home; she will get it adjusted next week.  But, the one that she picked out and used for the poster is very nice and it will work just fine. 

Third year Day 88 - Tuesday March 11, 2014

Today Bridgett said to me, do you remember that really pretty blue afghan I made when I was younger?  Yes, I do and I'm glad she remembers it too!!  We have one of those very, very large plastic hooks and we use two strands of yarn; you can make a very quick afghan that is very warm.  Her old afghan was a light blue and a dark blue.  It is huge!  BTW, wonder where that is??  Most of Bridgett's things are packed away and together, but I can't remember seeing that.  I will have to ask Mark and the girls.  And, maybe it is time to get more yarn and let her try it again!!

Third year Day 87 - Monday March 10, 2014

Today we got a report in the mail from the dermatologists office, which kind of freaked me out.  The report said that the biopsy Bridgett's Lipoma/cyst (or cystoma!) was sent out for a second opinion.  That's what happened when Mark found out about his pre-cancer thing on his back. Then, I started to worry about not having it taken off sooner.  Did I make a mistake by waiting?  Anyway, finally I decided that we can't worry about something that we don't know about yet.  I will wait for the final biopsy report before jumping to conclusions.  Otherwise, the wound is healing nicely and on Thursday Bridgett will get the stitches out.  It is itching right now and bugging her quite a bit, although still not as much as it used to itch!  This afternoon I had an appointment with the dentist in Whitefish, Dr. Colonna; he does laser dentistry. If you remember from way back in October, I had a small cavity, but could never get an appointment to get it taken care of with our travel schedule.  They had me start using prescription strength fluoride toothpaste, to hold the cavity at bay until I could get it filled.  I had hoped that they would fill it today, but since my original appointment was in Utah, they had to just examine today.  They set up the next appointment for April 16th.  So far, traveling is not in the plan until the end of April, so I guess I will finally get it taken care of then.  Luckily the cavity is small enough to still use the laser without numbing the mouth--YES!

Third year Day 86 - Sunday March 9, 2014

After Stephany had gone to bed a few nights ago, she sent me a text with a link to a talk called Enduring Well by Elder J. Christopher Lansing.  Below is a quote from one section of his address.  I was happy and impressed that Stephany found this and sent it to me!!

Just Keep Swimming

"When our only daughter, Lindsay, was young, she and I enjoyed watching movies together. One that we enjoyed and watched together many times was an animated film called Finding Nemo. In the movie, Nemo is caught by a scuba diver and ends up in a fish tank in a dentist’s office. His father, Marlin, is determined to find Nemo. Marlin meets a fish named Dory during his journey. They face obstacle after obstacle as they try to find Nemo. Whether the obstacle is big or small, Dory’s message to Marlin is the same: “Just keep swimming.”

 

Several years later Lindsay served a mission in Santiago, Chile. Missions are hard. Disappointments are many. Each week at the end of my email I wrote, “Just keep swimming. Love, Dad.”

 

When Lindsay was expecting her second child, she found out that her unborn baby had a hole in his heart and that he had Down syndrome. As I wrote to her during this very difficult time, I closed my emails, “Just keep swimming.”

 

Obstacles come into each of our lives, but to get through them and to get where we want to go, we must keep swimming."

Third year Day 85 - Saturday March 8, 2014

Arrianne's friend that lives across the hall from her, Lindsey, drove her up to the airport in Salt Lake, and she flew home without incident.  She even made it through security without incident, which never happens to her!  She always says to us--do I look like a terrorist or what!  They swab her for gun residue, pat her down, whatever.  Brother!!  Anyway, it was so great to have Arrianne home!   Mark went alone to pick her up while everyone else rested.  The girls were ecstatic to see Arrianne and we all sat around and just talked and talked.  Bridgett was so happy!  She and Arrianne have been so close and Bridgett's really so much happier when we are with Arrianne.  Too bad we can't figure out a way for Arrianne to be at school and Bridgett to be with her, short of moving down there:) 
FaceTime helps somewhat, and although Bridgett enjoys it, she usually doesn't want to talk long on FaceTime.  I don't know if that is because is too stimulating on some level or what.....
Speaking of too stimulating, Arrianne has her Junior recital this semester.  She will have from 30-45 minutes of singing.  We will be in a small recital hall and there will be a lot of volume, since Arrianne's an opera singer.  Anyway, I was thinking about the situation and trying to decide how to handle the volume and still have Bridgett there.  Last time she sang in an opera, Bridgett sat with ear buds and listened to other music during the opera, and just turned off the music while Arrianne sang.  This way the noise was still blunted.  Anyway, Faith was just telling me that Bose has noise cancelling ear buds now and that while in the airport lately they had a pair to try out.  She said they are marvelous, although expensive.  Overall though, Bridgett would have many times that she could use them, so I am thinking that I should investigate them. 

Third year Day 84 - Friday March 7, 2014

I'm always on the lookout for new information about Traumatic Brain Injury.  I recently ordered a new book called "If I Only Had a Brain Injury" by Laura Bruno.  I had actually read something that she had written on the internet about her recovery and felt I wanted to read the entire book.  She had a mild TBI and suffered quite bit from that.  Her story is very interesting.  One thing that immediately jumped out at me was her chapter dealing with Lyme Disease; her husband was diagnosed with Lyme Disease.  Anyway, this prompted me to investigate Lyme Disease testing for Stephany.  Actually, one of our dogs died about five years ago from Ehrlichia, Lyme disease and Rocky Mountain spotted fever. We live in a heavily wooded area and often see tics here.  I have asked doctors before about Lyme testing for Stephany, but everyone kind of skates over the idea.  Now I am insisting on testing.  I called the main lab that does the testing, Igenex.  They said there are only three providers in the state of Montana that use their services, one in Billings, one in Helena, and one in Missoula.  I got the name of the Missoula ND and made an appointment for Stephany, although they could not see her until sometime in April. At least it is worth checking out and can't do any harm.

Third year Day 83 - Thursday March 6, 2014

Bridgett always did like battle wound scars--and now she'll have another one to talk about!  When we took off the dressing today, she had me take a picture to send to Jenn and Arrianne so that they could see how it looked.  She's funny!  Every time we remove the dressing, she gets a mirror and inspects the wound.  You know, she stands with her back to the large mirror and holds the other mirror so that she can see it.  She remembered how to do that, so that's another small accomplishment!  This wound has caused a lot of discussion about other scars she has and how she got them.  I think she finally remembers the story behind all of them.  Is that because she remembers from long term memory, or she has relearned from short term memory??  Who knows!!  But, she remembers. 

Third year Day 82 - Wednesday March 5, 2014

Today we removed the dressing and looked at the incision.  Mark was surprised that it was as large as it is.  He had a pre-cancer thing removed from his back last year and this incision is at least as big as his was--roughly four inches.  Bridgett had a shower and then we put the bacitracin on the incision and a new dressing.  It itches, but not as much as the Lipoma/cyst or cystoma (as Bridgett calls it) did.  That's good.  It would have been annoying if we had it removed and the itching and pain was just as bad!  Again, I'm glad we waited until now to get it taken care of!!  It definitely is hard to get anything else done, what with discussing or complaining about the incision.  It hurts and is in a place where it bugs her to ride the bike.  She had been riding two to three times a day on the stationary bike for about 25-30 minutes each.  I had hoped it would distract her--but as I say, it's in a place where the recumbent seat touches the wound.  Oh well.....

Third year Day 81 - Tuesday March 4, 2014

Of course, I knew that the wound from the removal would cause Bridgett pain and aggravation; that's one reason I have had her wait so long to have it removed.  I wanted her to get her neck pain under control more so that she wouldn't have to contend with that pain at the same time.  And I was right--it's really bugging her and hurting.  She is taking Advil for the pain.  I'm so glad that we didn't deal with this before now!!

Third year Day 80 - Monday March 3, 2014

For months and months Bridgett has been complaining about that Lipoma on her back. It itches all of the time and just drives her crazy.  So, I finally made an appointment with the dermatologist to have it removed.  I can't remember if I posted about that already but Bridgett's primary care offered to remove it.  However, I just kept going to make the appointment and not feeling right about it.  Finally I decided that even though its on her back and a scar won't be notices unless she's swimming, I want a dermatologist to do it.  They do stuff like that all of the time and I always like to get a doctor who has lots of experience.  So, today is the day for the dermatologist.  Unfortunately, they have to see her first and the schedule for the removal.  The storm made the roads kind of bad, so we left early.  We got there and the waiting room was actually like empty.  We saw Brooke at Dr. George's office.  She said it wasn't a Lipoma, but actually a cyst.  She said that since there was such a storm, they had cancellations today, and they would have time to actually remove it today!  Bridgett was excited about that.  So, we moved to another room where they could do it.  The nurse was named Faith.  After getting Bridgett ready, she poked her head into the room and asked Bridgett--we have a student her, can she watch?  Bridgett said yes.  Then a few minutes later Bridgett turned to me and said, is that student just watching??  Is that what she said?  Because if the student is going to work on me--then no!  Haha!  I assured her that the student was only going to be watching.  Anyway, after numbing the area--Bridgett said there was no pain when they did that--they removed the Lipoma/really a cyst.  Bridgett said we should call it a cystoma.  She does love to make up words!  They removed so much more than I thought they would.  They took inside stitches and then six on the outside that will have to be removed next week.  Bridgett asked to see the tissue they removed.  Afterwards, she wished that we had taken a picture of it so that she could show other people.  She's always been like that, BTW.  I gave her Advil before the numbing wore off.  They will send the tissues for biopsy and then let us know about it.  Both the primary care and the dermatologist assured us it wouldn't be cancerous. 

Third year Day 79 - Sunday March 2, 2014

There is some kind of bug going around, and most everyone felt sick today.  So, we stayed home from church today.  It's still wintery here and snowing quite a bit.  I think of the days when the kids were younger and it snowed on school days.  Since we homeschooled, we didn't have to go out to get the kids to school, and we liked to sit in front of the big windows and study, while being able to look out from time to time and watch the storm.  Of course, everyone loved to have a cup of hot chocolate and snug up in blankets too.  I am so very glad that I had the time and energy to home school the kids.  I believe that we are all so close because of that fact, and I did love spending time and getting to be so close to each of my kids through home school.  One of Arrianne's friends at college asked her the other day--what did your mom do so that you and she are such close friends?  I want to be close to my kids like that.  Far be it from me to tell anyone how to raise their kids--I have my hands full wondering how to raise mine.  However, days later I thought to myself, spending so much time with my kids and really getting to know them so much helped our relationship so much.  I guess other things as well, but that's what I'm thinking about today.  Many a time I have said to Mark, that the only drawback of home schooling is you get so close and that when your kids are ready to leave home, it's so hard to see them go, whereas so many people are just glad to see their kids finally leave and not have to deal so much with them.  I have heard so many people say that they are so glad their kids are 18 so that they aren't responsible any more or something like that.  I do want my kids to grow up and to have lives of their own--don't get me wrong.  Of course, right now it is hard for the kids to contemplate moving on in too big of a fashion.  Arrianne has talked to me before about having a conversation with Bridgett before the accident, where Bridgett said to her, promise me you won't get married before I do.  Even thought things are different and I know that Bridgett would understand (eventually), I do think subconsciously it is hard for Arrianne to think seriously of getting married right now.  Just one of those things we are all working through.  When someone in the family has a major accident, not only do they have lots to work though, but it of course affects everyone, even those not living at home.  I know my married kids have had lots to deal with as well.   Jenn and Bridgett have been really close over the years, and I know that Jenn really misses talking to Bridgett like they used to.  Oh, of course they can talk now, it's just totally different. 

Third year Day 78 - Saturday March 1, 2014

I think this is the first year we haven't at least talked about April Fools Day, since we have had kids anyway.  Over the years we have done some cute things, little harmless things.  Jenn has called before with a funny joke--like last year, just months after the twins were born, when she called up and told me she was pregnant!  Haha!  Not really--I was just in shock!  Then quickly she said April Fools!  Remember Jenn has (right now) four boys, a five year old (Connor), a three year old (Caden) and twin one year olds (Lincoln and Logan).  Definitely not a joke to be pregnant again two months after the twins!  Anyway, today none of us even thought about it at all.  I have to blame myself for being so tired out.  As a mother, I so course try to remember all holiday dates, no matter how obscure, as talk to the kids about them.   

Thanks for the heads up Melissa--I started calling this month April!!  That's what happens when you are tired and posting days and weeks in arrears!!

Third year Day 77 - Friday February 28, 2014

I'm still very tired out, so Mark is helping me out by picking up groceries on the way home.  Actually, Mark hates to shop, but he is so nice to help me out with it right now.  I try to have him just pick up stuff from one place at a time.  For example, tonight was a stop at the health food store, to get some things we can't get elsewhere.  Actually, I order almost all of our supplements online and get a much better price that way.  Also, it's great getting them delivered right to wherever we are--here, Provo or Richfield.  I order almost everything straight from Amazon.  We have a prime membership and certainly get our money's worth on shipping costs.  I daresay we receive at least one order every week.  You'd think I could get everything ordered for the month at one time, but everybody is on different things, and they all run out at different times, etc.  And then almost monthly we are changing what the girls take, or at least how much they take.  Sometimes we discontinue things are a month or two.  Anyway, I usually just order what we need for the week.  A few things are on the money order automatically--the subscribe and save.  Anyway, I do love Amazon!

Third year Day 76 - Thursday February 27, 2014

Today Bridgett and I were discussing some different countries.  I was asking her if she remembered where they were and then I said, I need to run upstairs and get one of the globes so I can show you.  Don't do that, she said, because globes make me dizzy!  What??  When I asked her to explain that, she said that spinning the globe, even slowly, makes her dizzy.  Huh!  I didn't know that!  Weird!  I do know that her vestibular system is still off.  There is an exercise that she is supposed to do every day to help with that--spinning on a chair.  We are supposed to spin her twice and then switch directions, etc for two minutes.  The problem--she gets so sick she almost throws up--even if we go very very slowly.  So, then they had us modify it so that she sits and slowly turns her self around in circles.  I mean she goes very slowly.  We have done this for months and still she can't go any faster and she gets somewhat dizzy just from going twice one way and then twice the other way and back again twice.  I think we will never get to the point of us spinning her!  Hopefully we can find another way to reset the vestibular!!

Third year Day 75 - Wednesday February 26, 2014

Today out of the blue Bridgett said, I want another cell phone!  BTW,  I have been wondering when she would ask for one!  Then she said, remember that crappy blue one I used to have--I don't want one like that!  Her last phone was one of those flip phones. Actually, Bridgett had always wanted an iphone, and was working and saving her money to buy one.  She does love playing around on mine (and posting on my facebook--remember that!).  Right now it doesn't really make sense to get her one but I don't think it will be long before we will seriously think about that.    

Third year Day 74 - Tuesday February 25, 2014

Today Bridgett saw some crocheting that she had tried to do months ago. She picked it up and started crocheting without any assistance and completely remembered what to do!  Yes!  I love it when things like this happen.  A few months ago, it was a struggle and I had to sit by her and help direct her.  Now, effortless!  It is so reassuring as we watch the progress that Bridgett makes.

Third year Day 73 - Monday February 24, 2014

I called and cancelled our appointments with Bob and Faith this week.  We are going to stay home for a few more weeks before traveling again!  Hopefully we will be rested and renewed by that point and not just sick of traveling and wanting to give it up entirely:)  No, we can't do that.  Mark and I can see the many benefits that have come as we have traveled and sought out help for Bridgett.  We can't stop these trips......

Third year Day 72 - Sunday February 23, 2014

I luckily have had the chance to do some reading lately.  I love to read!  Today I picked up a short book I bought for the girls just after the accident.  It's called When Times are Tough by John Bytheway: 5 Scriptures That Will Help You Get through Almost Anything.  The first scripture that Brother Bytheway identifies is 1 Nephi 11:17, which says (We) know that (God) loveth his children.  He say we don't have all the answers to explain all tragedies that occur in the world, but we do know that God loves His children.  Brother Bytheway says that we waste time asking ourselves, "why did this happen or why doesn't God care about me."  Instead we should ask "what can I learn from this experience?" 

He then quotes Elder Richard G. Scott saying the following:
"When you face adversity, you can be led to ask many questions. Some serve a useful purpose; others do not.  To ask, why does this have to happen to me? Why do I have to suffer this, now? What have I done to cause this? will lead you into blind alleys.  It really does no good to ask questions that reflect opposition to the will of God.  Rather ask, What am I to do? What am I to learn from this experience? What am I to change? Whom am I to help? How can I remember my many blessings in times of trial? Willing sacrifice of deeply held personal desires in favor of the will of God is very hard to do.  Yet, when you pray with real conviction, 'Please le me know Thy will' and 'May Thy will be done' you are in the strongest position to receive the maximum help from your loving Father."
 
This is a really good book and a short read.  I can highly recommend it for everyone.  There is a great section on marriage and another on family relationships.  Also, scriptures to motivate you and to strengthen faith.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

Third year Day 71 - Saturday February 22, 2014

We are supposed to go to Utah for appointment with Faith on the 24th of February (Monday).  I talked to Bridgett about our trip and she definitely is not interested in driving at this point!  We are all sick of driving I guess.  Also, I'm just too tired to drive:)  So, I said maybe we could fly this time.  She immediately said no way on flying.  I asked why she didn't want to fly and she said because the bathrooms are too small!  Hah!  And we try not to use the bathrooms if at all possible!  Then I said, you wouldn't fly anywhere, no matter what?  And she said NOPE!  So, then I said, what about if we tried to fly to Australia?  This is her dream place to go to....and she said, well, I guess I could fly for sure then.  Maybe I could fly other places if it helps me get better.  So, whew on that one:)

Third year Day 70 - Friday February 21, 2014

Bridgett was discussing Valentines Day with me today and we were talking about flowers.  I asked her if she remembered what my favorite flower is and she said a rose--right!  I love roses!  Then she said that roses are her favorite too and she loves orange (probably peach) roses.  Mark gets me peach roses often or red or pink.  Anyway, she asked if you can get green roses. I didn't know so we Googled it; good old Google for finding out things we don't know.  Anyway, we found out that there are indeed green roses and although when I tried to picture them myself, they sounded kind of ugly, the actual pictures of them are actually pretty!  And no other flower in my mind can rival the smell of roses:)

Third year Day 69 - Thursday February 20, 2014

Bridgett often says the funniest things and just keeps us all laughing.  Today I was talking to her about changing how she's eating a little bit to try to eat Paleo like she did before her wreck.  Then I suggested that if she'd rather, she could eat macro with me like she did in high school.  At this point she said, don't talk to me right now.  I'm mad and could tell you a lie.  Or an untruth, as dad calls it.  Hah!  She didn't want to tell me that she wants to eat Paleo, but she doesn't want to give up rice:)  She used to eat Paleo as an athlete and then after her wreck she went for months and months refusing to eat any meat at all.  Finally she has started eating meat, but has not wanted to eat Paleo at all, tending towards eating with me (macro) rather than eating meat with the guys.  Suddenly about a month ago she decided that she wanted to eat Paleo.  Sometimes I have to remind her that rice isn't Paleo, but otherwise she's been pretty focused.  Cool (about the focus!). 

Third year Day 68 - Wednesday February 19, 2014

Today Bridgett had one of those rare crushing headaches; she describes them as feeling like her head is going to blow up.  I'm glad that these don't happen often, because they are miserable for her.  I gave her some pain reliever and had her lie down in my bedroom so she'd be upstairs where I could check on her easily.  I made sure it was quiet and turned off all of the lights so that it was dark in the room. Also, she put on a sleep mask so that she had mostly complete dark.  Oh, for safety reasons I left the little dimmer light on over the fireplace so that if she got up she could see.  Anyway, her headache persisted for several hours, but finally went completely away, thank goodness.  Before the wreck she never had these kinds of headaches. 

Third year Day 67 - Tuesday February 18, 2014

I forgot to mention that some of the link on jenniferfield.org are no longer working.  I'd just love to be able to get a hold of her mother and talk!  Support!  I really appreciate any support I can get, from everyone of course, but definitely from those who have "gone before" us.  There are so many questions that just can't be answered by a google search!  Today Bridgett wanted a straw and went to the right drawer and found one right away.  That doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but to us it is!  She remembered where the straws are!  This is not a long term memory from before the wreck but rather this is a memory from now--it has taken many times of doing the same thing to finally remember it.  Many people tell me that routine is so important with TBI patients and of course, we have found that to be true!  Some things Bridgett has as a routine that she remembers from before the wreck.  Some things she has established a routine now and remembers that routine.  Some things are still ahead to get a routine, I'm sure.

Third year Day 66 - Monday February 17, 2014

Bridgett's just so funny and says the funniest things!  Today I asked her how she was feeling.  She said, I feel great!  I can do anything you want me to do.....well, except push-ups!  She often tells me that she feels so great that she could run a marathon, only she says that she would probably come in last place because she'd have to walk a lot! 

Third year Day 65 - Sunday February 16, 2014

One of the things that Bridgett talked about on the trip was her desire to get a job at Sea World and work and swim with dolphins.  It was great for me to hear her talk about this, as this was one of the things that she wanted to do when she was in high school.  Some times I see a pattern of her living back through experiences and feelings as she is almost growing up again.  Remember that when she woke up from her coma, she thought that she was 14 years old.  That concerned me greatly at the time.  However, she has slowly been moving through her life and becoming herself again.  I can't really explain it.  One of the therapists that we saw several months ago talked to me about this phenomena.  She said that she felt that this was really such a good thing for Bridgett. If she has realized right after her accident exactly where she was and her limitations, she probably would have been really depressed and had such a hard time.  However, the way that she is healing seems to be a protection to her and has allowed her to heal slowly without feeling that great depression of having lost her life.  It's so interesting; the brain is just such an interesting and amazing thing!!

Third year Day 64 - Saturday February 15, 2014

Not long ago, one of our friends, Inez, whose daughter Emily had a TBI about the same time as Bridgett, gave me a website to check out.  Inez and I stay in touch from time to time and discuss various supplements, therapies, doctors, therapists, etc.  It's nice to be in touch with other people in the same situation and since she is also in the Flathead Valley, we can share even more information  that relates to us locally.  I am also in contact with Penny, who we met at the University of Utah inpatient rehab, whose daughter Courtney had a TBI a couple of months before Bridgett.  Anyway, Inez told me about the jenniferfield.org site.  I hadn't had time to really look around on the site until today and I was glad that I did.  I watched some of the videos.  It brought tears to my eyes, watching Jennifer during rehab appointments.  It was like watching Bridgett again, and we have some of those very similar videos from Bridgett's sessions.  It was also so great to see the progress that Jennifer has made.  She had her car accident when she was 17, and was on the olympic equestrian team.  She was not expected to live, but did.  She continued to inprove and 10 years later, graduated from college.  Even today (I believe 18 years later) she says that people see improvement over her function last year.  So, it was very heartening to watch and listen.  Also, it was very nice to read the long list of some of the different things that they have tried over the years.  It was nice to see that we have also tried most of these things and continue to do many of them.  I also got a couple of new ideas to check out.  Over and over I feel as if I am led to find more answers to things that can help Bridgett.  It takes time and money to pursue these things, but the results prove their importance.  We will also be open to listen and pray about any new thing that might be beneficial.  Some things people have told me about we have not taken advantage of, yet anyway.  I pray about them and some of them do not seem to be the right thing at this time.  I appreciate your suggestion, none the less!  So, don't be afraid to suggest something, as we may not have heard about it before.  Some things we have tried and have found limit success.  Some things have been so beneficial that we know we can't live without doing them. 

Third year Day 63 - Friday February 14, 2014

Valentines Day!  It was great to be home with my honey for Valentines Day!  It was a good day but also a hard day.  Today one of our friends found out that her husband of 16 years wants a divorce.  Also, I found out that another couple that we are friends with, who have been married like 25 or more years, have separated.  I shouldn't let myself get upset and stressed about these things, but I really hate to see families torn apart and it really does make me so sad!  I was tired out from the trip already, but these things just kind of gave me a little extra nudge and really at this point I think I just crashed and burned!  So, after months and months of care giving, I need a little bit of rest!  Not the best timing!  But, the body forces us to rest when we don't take the time to give it rest......  Oh, almost forgot to mention this...we haven't been home long, but Bridgett is really missing Arrianne.  Today she said to me, I'm lonely!  Actually, Bridgett has always been such a social person.  Of course, over her life, at times that she's been really sick etc. she has been at home and not around many people.  But, Mark and I both knew that the day would come when she would start to want to be around people again and miss her social life.  I guess that's starting to happen.  It was just so sad hearing her talk about being lonely, because it made me think about her life before the accident and sometimes that's a hard realization thinking about where she is right now.  Of course, Bridgett doesn't dwell on these things and although she was sad for a while today, she was able to be happy and smiling later on in the day. 

Third year Day 62 - Thursday February 13, 2014

For those of you who regularly read this blog.......I've been offline for quite a bit here!  Sorry!  I guess I am just plain old tuckered out!  It seems as if I've been driving that road to Utah too often and running around for too many appointments, etc.  Anyway, I've had a few weeks of rest and now I will attempt to reconstruct some of those days for you.

It was great to be at home and just spend some time with Mark.  We had a lot to talk about, including the appointment that Bridgett had last week.  Overall, it was a hard and for both of us.  It was hard mentally and physically for Bridgett; it was hard emotionally for me.  I know that things are different now since Bridgett's accident (obviously), but I don't really like to see it in black and white, you know what I mean?  And I still feel strongly that there is a lot of time for healing ahead, whereas the psychologist was one of those doctors that very specifically told me that the two year time frame was about the best we could expect.  If you think in those terms, things are kind of depressing.  I don't accept that and won't accept that!  We have to have our faith and hope about things.  Just recently I heard and old cassette tape that we have (yes we still have a player for it!) and the guy was talking about believing and doing.  He said that when people studied the bee they found out that aerodynamically it shouldn't be able to fly.....but the bee doesn't know that and so it flies anyway.  That's how we have to be about many things in life.  We just have to decide and then do and not accept any of the naysayers! 

Third year Day 61 - Wednesday February 12, 2014

Second part of the trip:)  We got up and showered and had breakfast.  I checked the weather and the road report.  We decided to take off and hoped we would miss the next storm serge.  I checked us out and loaded up the car....brrrrrr!  We took off just as it started snowing again.  We came home through Missoula, stopping there at the Good Food Store.  It's just one of our favorite stores!  Bridgett wanted to get some walking done, so we went up and down every isle, grabbing things on the way.  We got a nice load of some great food, something for lunch and left a little more relaxed after walking.  Bridgett's neck is still bothering her.  These trips are hard on her.  Usually we have a little more time with Faith and a little more time to let the treatment complete itself.  But, what can we do??  Sometimes when we are in Provo, Bridgett says that she wants to call dad and ask him to pack up our stuff and move to Utah so that we don't have to drive back:)  Of course, that is another way for her to tell us that she can't stand the drive!  We finally made it home and I just hugged everyone and then headed into my room for a nap.  Mark held down the fort while I grabbed some winks.  WE MADE IT!

Third year Day 60 - Tuesday February 11, 2014

So started our weird trip home!  We didn't leave until about 9:30 and I was tired before we left:(  The weather was pretty good until we hit Malad where there was a lot of snow and wind.  Idaho roads were not great; lots of snow pack and ice.  Usually there was one pretty decent lane.  At one point there was a slow car in front of me.  I didn't switch lanes to pass because the roads were not good.  Then a sports car came up behind me and passed us both.  However, once they got in the other lane, their car slid and they almost lost control.  Then he slowed down and got back into our lane as soon as he could.  Whew!  That's the kind of stuff that scares me!  Bridgett was not comfortable at all; her neck started hurting in the afternoon.  By the time we got to Dillon she was not doing well at all (hello pain killers).  By the time we got to Butte, there was no going further!  I got us a nice room at the newer Holiday Inn Express and got Bridgett down on the heating pad.  The weather was yucky and I wasn't too thrilled about driving anymore today anyway, since it was getting dark.  The guy at the desk said that we got to Butte just in time.  It had been blizzarding just before we got there and it is supposed to be OK until late morning tomorrow.  We'll get a good sleep and get back on the road before it gets too late. 

Third year Day 59 - Monday February 10, 2014

Today Arrianne didn't have school, so we could spent some more time together.  I felt kind of strange all day, because I knew I had planned to be back in Montana by now, and it was weird just waiting around.  It wasn't snowing here at all, although it was of course through Idaho and Montana.  Just a weird feeling!  The girls and I sat around and watched a couple of funny youtube videos.  Bridgett is supposed to watch something everyday with the pin hole glasses.  My sister Sue had shown us a funny one last trip, so we watched it again and then an old one we'd seen years back.  So, the first one was Utah names.  So funny!  Then we watched tribute to Utah, on funny Utah city names.  We played some games and did some resting.  We visited and had fun.  I got everything packed this evening, so we could head out pretty early. 

Third year Day 58 - Sunday February 9, 2014

Today Bridgett said, I'm not going anywhere in the car today, no matter what!  She has been in the car a lot this past week and I don't blame her!  So, Arrianne went to church and then stayed with Bridgett while I ran up to Draper to see Scott, Jaclyn and Weston and then on to Mom's house in Riverton for a visit.  It was great to see everybody, although I knew that everyone wanted to see Bridgett and Arrianne too.  Although I don't get to spent too much time with everyone, at least we come to Utah a lot so I see them often!  I then hurried back to Provo to the girls.  Bridgett had a funny question for me today......in heaven do your fingernails grow?  Do you have to cut them?  Then she said, I need to be on talking terms with the prophet!  Hah!  Of course, these kind of questions lead to teaching, reminding kinds of answers:)