Second year Day 365 - Friday December 13, 2013

I can hardly believe we are at the last day of the second year!  In some ways it seems like it was a lifetime ago that the wreck happened.  Life has certainly been different for the entire family since the wreck; I guess that will always be true and perhaps not in a bad way.  Not that I want to be philosophical at this point, but we all have our nightmares and we all have to find a way to get through our struggles.  Sometimes other peoples struggles seem hard, but the struggles we personally face are the real measure of who and what we are.  We all have the ability to handle whatever is thrown our way.  Sometimes we struggle trying to find our way to the top of the water again, after we've been "thrown overboard in a raging storm" but in the end we do it.  Hopefully we come through the storm having learned something, but definitely we will have changed and hopefully for the better.  Hopefully we come out of our struggles full of love, gratitude and forgiveness.  Hopefully we continue our journey, fortified and ready to face the next storm.  Perhaps we have to time out a little while to gather strength again, but life will go on either way.  Ready or not, life continues forward.  It was with great sadness today that I had to cancel our trip to Utah and cancel Bridgett's party.  Stephany is too sick to travel.  Mark offered to stay home with her, but the roads are not good and I just couldn't face driving them alone with Bridgett.  Plus, it would take a long time because I go slow on bad roads!  I sadly sent out texts to everyone that we had invited, because I couldn't face talking to everyone without crying.  I had a good cry about it this evening.  I was really looking forward to tomorrow; it seemed like such a positive way to spend the day.  Overall I've been doing much better than last year and I think the party was a big part of that.  I cried on Mark's shoulder for a while, then I called Jenn and cried to her.  What a baby I am!  But I did feel better after a good cry.